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About Photography / Hobbyist Lisa MarieFemale/United States Group :iconweloveidinamenzel: WeLoveIdinaMenzel
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Deviant for 9 Years
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Statistics 453 Deviations 1,047 Comments 16,936 Pageviews

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I Keep: Hoping
I keep chasing the high
Hoping I can forget what the low feels like
I keep crawling back to the pain
Hoping this time it won't be different and it won't hurt
I keep hanging on to his words
Hoping this time he'll mean them, act on them.
I keep hinting for more
Hoping he can finally give it to me.
I keep; Hoping
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 2 2
I don't know the words to write about him.
How could I when I don't know what it's like to touch his skin?
When I hardly remember the sound of his voice?
I don't even know what his hand would feel like in mine.
So how could I possibly know the words to write.
About someone who I know so well.
But don't know at all.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 1 0
More Than This
She always did see things in a different way.
The signs she begged for.
The words he said.
She saw them as more than they were.
As if a person could be more than a person.
As if a flower could be more than a flower.
Because she despreately needed something.
Something that could be more.
Something that could be better.
And she wanted it to be him.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 0
The Idea
They tell you, learn to love yourself and the rest will follow. They say it like it’s so easy. It’s not easy, not when you’re overweight, and don’t know how to do your hair and make up, or just have a generically unpretty face, it’s not easy. But I did it, or at least I started to. I hung out with myself, i said no to hanging out with people who were toxic to me. I put a crop top on my overweight body, and didn’t just feel pretty- I felt happy, and not because of the compliments, but because I felt confident. I wore bracelets and red lipstick and winged my eyeliner, it took months to perfect, but once I did, I was so happy. I took selfies, tons of them because I finally felt worthy of putting my winged eyed, red lipped face on instagram for the world to see. But the most important part- I was doing this for me. Not to impress some guy,not for likes on instagram, not to make some girl jealous, but because I liked what I saw in the mirror when I did, s
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 1 1
It's 3AM
It's 3 am and your name is the only thing floating around my head.
We talk for hours.
Everything-and nothing is fair game.
You tell me your story.
And I watch history repeat itself before my very eyes.
It's morning when we finally fall asleep.
You don't have clocks in your room.
But I don't care.
Because who needs the time.
When I have you.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 0
Mature content
The showers don't sting anymore. :icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 1 0
Life is For The Alive, My Dear by TheyCallMeLili Life is For The Alive, My Dear :icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 3 9
A Letter To My 14 Year Old Self.
Dear 14,
1.That 18 year old boy with the pretty smile, and prettier words isn't worth it. Isn't worth your time, your tears or your love. You'll find better.
2.Don't make an enemy of that girl just because she fell for the boy with the pretty smile too. Be friends with her, that will be far more intimidating to him. And maybe you have more in common than just liking his pretty smile.
3.Skipping that meal won't make you feel prettier. It will just make you feel like you've failed your mother.
4.Once you taste his lips for the first time, it will never leave your mouth. Remember it, you'll miss it, but you'll also remember why you don't want it anymore.
5.The razor will only sting for a little while, not long enough to make their words go away.
6.Your best friend isn't invincible, and neither are you. Live it up for as long as you can, because tomorrow she'll be gone.
7.Those lyrics may sound perfect, but they're not about you. Don't change your life to fit a song.
8.You are as brave, as
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 1 0
Attend The Tale... by TheyCallMeLili Attend The Tale... :icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 4 9
She watched the sky light up, and turn back to dark again.
Like her thoughts about him.
Momentary flashes of light,
Followed by stretches of darkness.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 2 0
You ask me my favorite color.
I don't know how to respond.
Because how can I pick just one
When the sky fades into an infinite
Amount of hues when the sun decides
To disappear and return each day.
But all I can think about is
How you're the one I want to be with
Every time the sun makes it's trip
into and out of our sky.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 0
Mature content
Combat Boots and Leather Jackets. :icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 2 0
She sat, knees to her chest,
Until the water ran cold,
And the tears of today faded away,
Making room for the dreams of tomorrow.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 0
Strength of the Storm
After a while, she got tired of being sad,
So she decided, why not be happy instead?
But happy was too simple, to boring, to straightforward.
She decided to be a storm, strong, destructive,
But in the end, flowers grew around her,
Once the storm passed,
She brought the light to the world.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 0
I am Not a Girl, I am a Storm
I am not a girl, I am a storm.
There is a hurricane under my skin
It bubbles through my pores.
I am unafraid, unabashed, uninterested
In anything that does not serve me,
enhance me, or strengthen me.
The tempest in my finger tips
Threatens those in my reach.
A tornado in my eyes
Echos the swirling in my mind.
I am not a girl, I am a storm.
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 0
But For A Name
4 years ago.
I didn't know you, but for a name.
A number in a competition, a title of a play.
All I wanted from you was to be better than you.
To take first place.
I got what I wanted.
You congratulated me.
A pat on the back.
I terrified you, in the best way possible of course.
I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
And I didn't care.
2 Years ago.
I didn't know you, but for a name.
A face on a stage, talent and grace.
All I wanted was to know why my dad wanted me to know you.
To set us up?
I got what I wanted.
He thought we'd be friends.
We talked about the last time we saw each other
When I terrified you.
I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
And I didn't mind.
4 months ago.
I didn't know you, but for a name.
A fellow auditionee, a brilliant scene partner.
All I wanted was to get a role.
The role of a lifetime.
I didn't get what I want.
But, I stuck around.
You forgot my name.
I reminded you.
I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
But, this time I cared.
4 weeks ago.
I didn't know yo
:icontheycallmelili:TheyCallMeLili 0 2


*TW: Suicide*

Five years ago today was my 17th birthday. Five years ago today I almost died. It's called rock bottom. I hit it, I hit it hard. Twelve pills and a razor blade later, I changed my mind, luckily just in time. Ever since the birthdays have been a strange thing for me. I no longer celebrate the day I was born, I celebrate the day I survived. Sometimes I run my fingers over the fading scars and remember that night in flashes. That night that I thought I had nothing left to live for, and then the brief moment I realized that I did. I will forever be grateful for the little voices I heard coming from downstairs, the little voices screaming "happy birthday, aunt Lili!" The voices of two little boys just as broken as I was. I realized I had to live for them. For the possibility of the future. And it did get better. Yes, there are days when I feel like dying all over again, but on those days, I just tick off all the reasons I have to live and I realize those will be greater than any reason I want to die.
I don't post a lot on here anymore, I have my tumblr for that. But this is for me, this is me writing down my thoughts with no worry about who may read them. To those of you who do take time to read this, do me a favor, as a birthday gift comment on this journal and tell me about something beautiful in your life. Give me, and yourself some hope.
Be strong. Be Brave. Live.
  • Listening to: Taylor Swift-22
  • Watching: Game of Thrones
  • Drinking: Water

Journal History


TheyCallMeLili's Profile Picture
Lisa Marie
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
United States
"And though she be but little, she is fierce."

Current Residence: Oz
Favourite genre of music: Broadway
Favourite photographer: My dad
Operating System: Windows
MP3 player of choice: iPod
Shell of choice: Turtle
Skin of choice: Green
Favourite cartoon character: Snow White
Personal Quote: "I don't do drugs, I do performing. It's a natural high."



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MattShadoinDesign Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the fave!
FaeLuna13 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2012  Student Writer
:iconthankyou1plz::iconthankyou2plz::iconthankyou3plz::iconthankyou4plz::iconthankyou5plz: for the :iconfavplz: on [link] !
waffles999999999 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012
Thanks for the fav :hug:
Booky-TrueIdentities Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fav!!!!
hushed-lullabies Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday! (:
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